Rant For A New Year
Everyone knows I can’t stand people who say one thing and do another. For instance, if you’ve been rejected because of how you look, don’t reject someone because of how they look. Consider how you felt when you were told you didn’t fit a certain look. Consider your feelings when you found out that what was keeping you from holding hands with a person was based on if you just had a different color of eyes, or a different hairstyle, or dropped a few pounds.
It also bothers me when a person says they’re fighting for gay marriage. Nobody is going to achieve gay marriage by marching down the street in assless chaps with leather whips. Your bondage gear will not make the Christians go, “Hmm…those guys deserve the priviledge of marriage.” Keep that stuff in the same place you say you don’t want our government: In the bedroom. Not the streets of San Francisco.
Another thing I’m bothered by: The “radical” or “fundamentalist” Christians. Seriously, shut the fuck up. If you believe in Jesus and God, great for you. I live in America, on Planet Earth, with tons of athiests, agnostics and Satanists. God has yet to kill off these people, which means it obviously doesn’t bother Him that there’s a few lost souls in this world. And don’t even bother quoting the Bible to me. That “manual of life” is over thousands of years old. Tell me, if your car broke down, would you grab a manual for a 1933 automobile? My point exactly. Now, let the gays get married. God won’t kill us all off if they do. And if he does, will you go to Hell for it? Nope, didn’t think so.
People, telephones are supposed to RING, not play computerized booty-bumping ringtones. It’s not pleasant to stand in line at my bank, lost in deep thought while I’m behind four people ahead of me for a bank window, only to hear “Hips Don’t Lie”, your special ringtone for your wife (girlfriend) (mistress) (five dollar whore) (five dollar girlfriend) (Fido). My phone rings. My friend’s ringtone, albeit annoying, somewhat rings (it more or less chirps). My house phone rings. Phones RING. Another thing that’s annoying is that crappy service that replaces a telephone ring in the receiver with some weird MP3 music. Cut that crap out.
I swear, if one more person asks me to comment on their pictures or profile on MySpace, I’m going to go postal. Stop being attention whores and go back to your Nintendo Wii, MTV and high school one-act plays. You’re not going to get a cash prize for “most comments on MySpace in a day” or “more friends than Tom!”. Nope, won’t happen.
Porn isn’t that great. Seriously. No, really, it’s not. Why everyone makes a big deal about it, I dunno. While not everyone can capitalize on it, we all have the ability to view naked people. And we don’t even need a computer, a DVD player or even a TV. All we need is the courage to remove our own clothes and a bedroom mirror. Yep, people, that’s it—I just gave you the recipe for home-made porn. And get this: Once you grasp that ability, you’ll always feel foolish looking at MPEG videos of two guys, two girls or two opposites getting it on. Porn isn’t degrading. It’s not disgusting. It’s an exposure into a natural human act. If you pay $39.99 for an online service or $69.99 for a DVD of it, though, you’re fucking stupid, and you deserve to go broke.
Smokers know they’re killing themselves with all this poisonous crap. They do it because they have self-esteem issues. “Truth” and anti-drug campaigns furthur their resolve. The answer? Stop pressuring smokers to stop smoking. What’ll come of it? People will stop smoking. It’s also a LOT more cost effective than multi-million dollar advertisements on the dangers of smoking.
Stop leaving your pets in your cars. You wouldn’t like it if your dog ran into the grocery store for “just a second” and left the window cracked barely an inch. So don’t do it to your dog. Leave them at home with the central air conditioning and their favorite chew toy, because trust me, they don’t enjoy the back of your Toyota Highlander with their paws melting to the leather seats and their bones baking at 140 degrees.
Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Which means, if you beat the crap out of them, they’re likely to shoot you in your sleep. So do one of two things: Love them, or buy a gun lock. This goes out all the moms and their sons too. Consider this a public service announcement from Radio Matthew.
Stop using the phrases “shortie” and “baby’s momma”—if you can’t say “girlfriend” and “ex-girlfriend”, you should repeat the fourth grade. We all took twelve years of English so we could speak it properly. With that being said, the word is “whore”, not “ho”; “four”, not “fo”; and “floor”, not “flo”. The letter “O” is not a substitute for a period—there are other letters, you are supposed to keep going.
Alright, that’s all I’ve got when it comes to going into 2007. Happy New Year’s to everyone.
I'm a 21-year-old technology, music and local media blogger from Sacramento, California.
December 31st, 2006 at 2:49 pm
Fanatics of all kinds give the more nomral people involved in any cause a bad name… look at PeTA and how much of a mess they’ve made. Once upon a time, it was probably a bunch of animal welfare people, but then PeTA stepped up and said “Why not go for animal rights, people?” and the fanatics recieved free reign to drive us all insane.
Gay marriage (let them marry, damn it! They are no more or no less then anypone else!) and animal rights (animals rights = very bad, animal welfare = very good) are my two biggest things I think.
hahaha MySpace. CrackSpace. CrackStalk. I just set whatever new pic I want commented on to my default, and people see it, and comment if they want to. End of story.
Porn is hilarious. Don’t believe me? Watch it on mute, and pretend you’re a sportscaster. And throw popcorn at the screen. Seriously.
Yes, I am aware I am killing myself, slowly but surely. I’m also totaly grossed out by the fact I smoke. One day, I might even motivate myself to quit. Until then though, I’ll hold onto it’s the only bad habit I have, and without it, I’d be perfect. :P
Ditto on pets… they didn’t ask to be carted around, and if they did, sometimes tough love of being left home alone for a bit is better for them. Common sense, people.
PSA brought to you by Radio Matthew. hehe
Awesome post. It made me want to ranble incoherrently here and there, but over all, I dug it. And agreed completely. :)
Happy New Year’s Matthew!
December 31st, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Debra: Glad to hear you enjoyed the entry, and Happy New Year to you too. See, you’re a smoker, right? And you recognize the dangers of smoking, but you do it anyway. That’s kinda my point. People know they’re killing themselves faster with those sticks-o’-pleasure, but they do it anyway. The only way people are going to stop smoking is if Kool, Camel, Marlboro and all the other cigarette manufacturers stop making ciggys—which they won’t.
I’ll have to try that “Commentator Porn” game sometime. Sounds like it could be fun. Not really a game to play with the family, though (then again, I had an hour-long conversation with my mom a few weeks ago on the Rocky Horror Picture Show, so I guess in today’s society, nothing is taboo).
In the State of California, legislation will go into effect starting tomorrow (January 1st, 2007) that will make it illegal to leave a pet in a parked car without adequate nourishment in the form of food and water. Doing so will cause animal control to break into your car and remove the animal at your expense. It will also be illegal to tie up an animal (mainly dogs) to a public object like a bike rack, lamp post or stop sign for more than three hours.
December 31st, 2006 at 4:20 pm
I agree. May I steal a portion of this?
December 31st, 2006 at 4:22 pm
You are welcome to use some of this post elsewhere if you credit me where you put the content. Please credit the blog and/or my name.
January 1st, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I loved this rant ^_^ Especially the slang part. *nods* Although, I have (or used to before my fucking computer crashed AGAIN) songs on there I’d like as ringtones.
January 1st, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Chris: I have only ever used two songs as ringtones in my entire cellular life. The first was “Neon” by John Mayer that I used for months, which was a very subtle ringtone. The second was ‘Crystal Ball’ by Keane, which was another subtle ringtone. However, I got bored with the first one after about two months, and the second after two weeks. From that point on, my phone simply rings. I think it’s more professional, and I think musical ringtones are just plain annoying. The only reason why an MP3 file should be on a cell phone is if it’s a cell phone that is more or less an MP3 player as well.
January 1st, 2007 at 6:43 pm
So, where do I strat on this broadcast?
I suppose I’d strat by saying that fanaticism is fanaticism, from whichever direction it comes. Matthew, I think you’ve heard me rant on about that elsewhere. I really do think the opinions people have are less imoprtant than the attitudes they carry their opinions with. With a bad attitude (and I really think a disrespect for anybody who doesn’t agree with you ids the biggest one), you can easily turn the best of causes into the worst. Not hard to do.
I guess it can take us a long time to learn that the force of our arguments is not increased by the force with which we voice them. The precise opposite is often the case.
Which gets me to your very first comment: you got that one right, matthew. until we learn that you can’t demand for yourself what you’re not prepapared to concede to others, Nobody is without their prejudices, but we do have the obligation to think how our prejudice, with a very small change can be used against us. It makes us behave a little better!
No argument on ring tones from me. hear! Hear!
I have a bit of a thing about cell phones, but then I’m something of a Luddite at heart…
being something of a Luddite, I tend to leave MySpace alone. I looked in on it once. I wonder, though, whether blogging isn’t a kinder, gentler form of this sort of thing. I suppose it depends how you use it - or any other Internet tool. I, of course, would NEVER think this would apply to our esteemed host here (actually, the interest in communications technology makes this a useful exercise for the studies), but I suppose all these things do tend to encourage exhibitionists. All present company excepted, of course!
Porn…well, some seem to get off on it. It can be (unintentionally) hilarious, but the one time I got caught in a traditional stag with tow alleged calssics, I was bored out of my tree. Maybe I got inoculated from all the racy paintings done for an edition of “the Decameron” my parents left incaustiously in my reach when I was 12.
I think the anti-tobacco lobby are building up into the new Prohibitionists, with very much the same results. I never did think much of smoking, partly because I’m highly allergic to it (BTW, a reason for leaving marijuana alone too), but I found that a number of myrelatives who smoked like chimneys were going to it all the more if I lectured them. And a lot of people still start soley for the reason of irritating the modern-day “Mrs. Grundys” of the world.
I’d suggest you average fourth-grader is a lot more literate than any number of aduilts.
Which seems to be a long-winded way of general applause, but there it is. Pu tup blogs, and you open yourself up to gasbags like me!
January 3rd, 2007 at 1:36 am
Matthew, that’s my biggest contradiction I think, or at least the most serious one. I quit once, for 14 months. Then I became a quitter and started up again. Smart girl, huh? You can slap my hand if you’d like. *holds out hand*